I read my own letters back. This time, in the one to Michael Pollan I thought "What?" I sound so sure of myself. On one hand I feel like apologizing for that. But if I didn't think I could make a difference absolutely and that there is a way to get folks moving that are complacent or unaware or misled (Do you ever feel like the normal in a zombie movie?) then I would NOT be able to handle the news I seek out and the stories I hear from others.  So I read that letter back and felt so terrible. I had the adult equivalent of being precocious- I read it back and thought like it was audacity to say I'm going to make a difference. Good Gravy! Snap out of it, Mary! I have to make a difference. What difference does it make if I look sure of myself- someone is going to tell me I'm ridiculous for talking about how I'm rolling up my sleeves and taking names? Maybe but that's not bad. What's bad is if I stop doing whatever I think will work because I'm not used to laying it on the line and I want my old reality back. I know some of you who are doing the same thing- working hard and giving your everything to do it like GMO-Free Eugene. They're friends on our facebook page and they rock. Throughout this site, in links or blog mentions you'll read about yourselves quite often- and some of you are pretty strong willed!!! :) Thank goodness we are. Hope keeps us alive and we have no one but ourselves right now. Our numbers here are growing too. In 3 days we somehow went from 77 to 84 facebook friends. Where did these 7 people come from? Is it a friend that has lots of friends? Or are we nearing that point of taking off and growing because we're all finding each other? Facebook is where we all talk to each other- I hope you'll go. The link is on the home page at the bottom. I can't hyperlink here.

You know why I felt so ashamed of sounding like I thought I could do anything I set my mind to? I just went back to classes to finish my undergrad work this term. School is creepy because I have to pretend that I think life will be the same as it is now roughly in a year or two. "What have you been doing this summer?" says a student I liked from another botany class in Spring. "Oh well- I'm doing non-GMO stuff because ...contamination... rolling out of more every day... people feeling helpless and forced to eat poison ....  you know- planning on doing this mission every waking moment I can spare until we win or I die. How was your summer?" She told me about her work and school and it sounded so good. Life I could relate to before this overpowering concern. 

The good- no - GREAT news is I met people including one of my professors that gets it- the ecological disturbance and the threat of faster spread than others predict- and my experiment to test whether it is. I talked to her, and a friend who has a Masters and is simply amazing and both knew more about the DNA and microbiology aspect than I do times a million. Both said it sounds legit for a true scientific investigation. But with my teacher I also said, you know I'm poisoning chances at grad school and I'd like to be there because that is a chance to do this experiment. I've been poisoning it because I'm the only one I know that thinks this threat is what I think it is. I think the rest of the world is insane- especially the scientists that study this and aren't concerned. (At first I thought it was just the paper was professional and appropriate but then I talk to them and they're just not that concerned. Not like I am.) I am concerned, as a person would be if their home was in a fire's path- and I have to keep on. But then I heard a scientist and professor say yes, she'd like me to leave the articles with her, and thank you for showing her. She might refer me later to someone about this experiment I want to do but it seems reasonable. Before this I tried for several years to come up with a worthy research idea- bouncing them off of teachers every chance I got and it was so difficult to think of something practical, original, and accessible to me. Well, now, I have to impress her in class. I have to focus on school as much as I can so that when I finish my last term I can take this opportunity to prove this hypothesis. I wish it weren't true but there's so much evidence I can see that to me, its a matter of proving it out unfortunately. I'm not saying she can just plop me into grad school and into my experiment but its a reference possibility if I can earn it with my work this term- and she can then vouch for me after checking it out more that this isn't a conspiracy theory but a sound inquiry. The proof of this will be my ability to do the class work in a challenging but exciting class. It stops my mind from constantly being troubled about wasting my time in this fake world because this is a path to a longer-term but solid lead. My class is now part of this endeavor so I'm not just abandoning my work, I'm doing it. And that's nice because it is some needed normalcy too.  I'd have to rush and still do the experiment well but its not far away really.

So what do I think about this renewed hope at grad school? I think yay! Another thing to try to get this whole GMO thing stopped. That is all that matters to me of grad school- my career- my academic life. It is a means to an end. An end of GMOs. Tomorrow, Ernie and I meet with the business counselor to tell him we're doing everything for free still for businesses. That's because they're interested in being non-GMO friendly and we want to help them do that for all our sakes. We were asked by one place and inquired if another would come if we put on a sort-of class for employees and/or execs on what the non-GMO life is like- What our consumer needs are- What the natural food industry is about to face (that you guys know too well but they may or may not.) Its a go. We have a huge course manual for the meeting to put together that folks can take home. And it will be recycled to a zillion other uses. I'll be able to answer these questions with illustrations and evidence for everyone like a GMO guide book.

Meanwhile, as I write my confident, optimistic, empowered, big thinking (See Ralph Hinkley post below!) pitches I'm basically giving myself affirmations that I won't fail. I'm being my own cheer leader. Remember I tried to see if anyone wanted to form a non-GMO support group? I had a couple people say they could use it but so far nothing is formed but one day we may do it and that would be so nice. It feels like we get slammed all the time out there, doesn't it? The fish and pigs was a punch in the gut- so was the illegal disregard for the injunction on planting GMO sugar beets by the USDA. I talked to people who told me how the farmers' crops are failing and how they're being treated. I read that horrible press release I linked to in my update 9-28 when the non-GMO report folks gave us a heads-up because I happened to be calling about a contamination issue I found in a science journal from 2009. BTW, Ken there keeps up on everything GMO hot off the press. (We hadn't talked as much about them or the Organic Consumers Association on this site but lately I've mentioned them because I'm seeing more things they do.)

Anyway, from Mr. Pollan's office I got a form letter that said he gets so many he doesn't respond to most but it was read. We don't know by whom- but we have to figure that he is keeping tabs and taking what we say together as information. It didn't make me feel like he was going to write or call. It may have been automatically generated and we'll hear from him yet. But after that today my heart sank and then I re-read my letter thinking it would sell him on the idea. Well it would if you knew we were cheerleaders here and a support system for all the people we've found like us. It might sound good if you knew we have many numbers who hate GMOs too but feel they're impossible to avoid and tell us this- or people that make fun of us (Ernie and I are lucky but we've heard from some of you about how there was NO ONE that respected your concern and will to avoid eating them and you've gone through hell.) So I'm blasting around that I am not going to accept defeat and we have a plan and I've already done this and that and if one thing doesn't work, another will because we're going to stop these things! Was it in the late 90's when Detroit won the Stanley cup twice? The method was hit it toward the goal, every body get down there as the goalie has it bounce off of him and then they all just kept hitting the puck off of him over and over until it went in. This letter still has potential- but what a tone. I get so fed up with reading bad news and so angry when others have to go through what we have been and do that I fume or mope for twenty minutes and then I spring up and go try something else.

But today, I had to go to my alternate reality life where I get fooled that I could just be thinking like other people and concentrate on academics for the sake of my future as a professional who will one day have money to fix up my car or whatever I might do if life were normal. If I thought life were going to be normal without some serious changes in the short run I wouldn't be busting myself and putting myself in situations where I have an inclination to be self-conscious. Ernie wouldn't be putting in all sorts of hours doing this project and keeping the whole house together and keeping me from forgetting to tie my shoes (Ok I have Velcro all-terrain sandals so I don't have that problems but I would.) If I'm on a phone call for an hour or three, he is listening on speaker phone saying hello and sometimes helping jot notes or find stuff online for the caller. So it is disconcerting and surreal to go to school- or was. Now I see the light- I see a path to grad school- a path to doing the research project that could get folks to take the threat seriously and just admit they don't know and we have some science to do and less talking about what we think we know because its obvious.

So you guys, being readers, are like the people holding my line. I'm going out - far out on this line to get the big fish... I'm going to try to get this research done by putting in a term of "my dues" and then having somewhere to go after that- to grad school- with an experiment lined up and waiting that will help us slow this assault on life and our food down. Even if I find out that this won't work, I had two people I respect that understand science versus justification and rhetoric, tell me thumbs up on this research. Yet another angle. So now I look at my audacity of writing Mr. Pollan saying how much I'm going to do and how I've got something he could help us with so I can make a difference. I look at it now and what I see is that I'm not defeated. I'll sleep tonight.
removed from front page to make way for other news

Next step- do I have a civil case?
Absolutely. I'm contacting advocates now. My access to non-GMO food is actively being removed. It is against my most personal theological beliefs to consume food that is a violation of life -made by turning life into something that kills by twisting it at the genetic level. This stuff isn't safe for people and Earth- we know that. I can get the best documentation and witnesses organized myself. I'm ready to sue. Now I need someone that can get me to court and be the glue that rallies those people and organizations to my side on behalf of all of us.

ACLU gave me some leads. They said yes, it does sound like I may have a civil liberty that is being trespassed, and it would help many people if a person stands up in court for their rights because a judgment would pertain to all of us whose  rights to non-GMO food are in jeopardy. But the problem is, this would be a whole new "department." They've had a lot of new departments lately- too many. We don't here all have the same politics but we have found we've had rights abused and found fault with the system for sure. Plus its creepy, isn't it? Going against what some powerful people want the masses to think and say? Ever feel weird talking about it on the phone- expressing concern that the government isn't on your side? I know it was a struggle for me to live in this state. More and more people are feeling creeped out. Does the room get quiet now if someone says "hey- its a free country"? So there's the ACLU saying they have a lot of new business. I imagine that includes having to help torture victims and people on kill lists or people who are victims of wiretap violations. You have to think of the innocent people that are imprisoned or sentenced to death in our system to fathom targeted killing/kill lists and torture (torture would be easier to mete out now with all the information we have given about ourselves here on what we're afraid of) without the due process legal punishment entails- and you'd have to think of judges that are bribed by lobbyists in plain sight or bribed or threatened by people we won't ever know about - all those people pulling the strings of the weak or greedy- to fathom a low-man-on-the-totem-pole in a wiretapping job getting some nice cash for giving up secure information to a corporation in order to bribe you. No one would spy on me, people say- no one would try to intimidate me- or stop me from doing something in this world. That isn't how the ACLU thinks. They work like court works- if it applies to one, it applies to all- if it can happen to one person because something is wrong that can be ruled on in the judicial system to change, then the fight is for everyone- even those that say it would never be an issue for them. It won't until it is. Will you ever run for office? Ever be a witness for someone? Ever see something someone didn't want you to? Ever seek out a top position others want? Will you ever go against someone else or some company with a lot of money / power? There's so many cases of impropriety within the already insanely unconstitutional setup- the most unscrupulous ones of whole the wayward bunch.... or weak or greedy or innocent but manipulated are like holes in the bucket of water. If you put your water in a bucket with a hole, it doesn't matter that there's only one hole- its going to come out. All that information about you only needs one person who can be persuaded with any manipulation tactic from threat to bribe to come out of the government's hands and into the hands of a corporation. Heck, Google Monsanto and Blackwater in one search and see what you find.  Shivver. That information came to us from one of you on Facebook and we thank you. The ACLU is highly politicized because they go up against big people for important things. It operates on what the Constitution and our real legal laws do- the premise that its of utmost importance to keep the framework of justice strong than to weaken it until its gone because a person feels the need to make exceptions. Even if you don't like every case they take, it doesn't matter. They take them to court- they don't make laws. They give judges a chance to rule and that is what comprises law. If they don't, all the Justices have to be quiet- they can only answer when asked. How frustrating might that be?!

Principles can be hard to stand by because one shoe doesn't fit all - Innocent Until Proven Guilty feels bad sometimes when dangerous people get away scott-free... but wait until you've chipped the Principles (the Constitution) to nothing and someone falsely accuses you of a serious crime. What then? If there's no law being upheld day in and day out that protects you when you're innocent then you just have to take whatever you're given. Personally, I think if a person doesn't like Innocent Until Proven Guilty, they need to find a different place to live because that IS the United States. I often sign ballot measure petitions for things I'm not sure I would vote for but maybe I would- I'm just saying I think people should vote on it- that I should learn about the matter. Well, the ACLU petitions the court and by supporting them you are supporting the act of having our rights defended by giving them to the court to review. I would ask anyone that has some civil liberties they feel need defending (which could include not having our clean food choices eliminated) to support the ACLU - and as far as picking and choosing from things they do that you like or don't, we hold our court judges accountable for that. The ACLU may very well be involved with us soon. It probably wouldn't hurt for others to tell them what is going on with our food safety for GMOs and other food hazards.

But when the person that called me back said this was too big even if I did hand it all to them because it is so different, I was glad he took the time to tell me some names where I might go. I want the ACLU to do what it needs to do to keep fighting and doing what they're doing. Yet. But you know, the more people that ask for help on this, the stronger their referrals and connections will become to those that will take on this fight. Whoever I find, may be the people you find and we'll go class-action suit then. So why not call and make them aware of this and ask who to ask for help? The ACLU is taking over where government is failing in the check-and-balance system we're supposed to have. Their website ACLU.org is amazing too. Anyway, thank you for your time and assistance defenders of our freedoms. I wish you didn't have so much work.

If I hadn't gone to the ACLU first, I wouldn't have found out that some food advocates don't think my right to non-GMO food is being violated. When I was filling out the form that asks for witnesses, I asked  some non-GMO advocates if he they would be witnesses to that civil suit- to show that I am having my right to non-GMO food stripped away. The person that made that effort to respond in a very nice and specific letter said he couldn’t because he thought I had options- there are other foods I could choose. My jaw started to drop as I read on. It said that I have to get Organic for everything, and the contamination of Organics is a big problem to be sure, he said, and no, I can't have convenience, prepared, or processed foods- basically the whole center of the grocery store… but there are lots of vegetables and fruit, etc. Well, I’ve been saying you don’t know what that really means until you stop eating them and most everyone we know eats them. Who are the ones serious about not eating them? Us. Ernie, myself, and some of you who I talk to which is great to not be alone anymore in this.

You know we mentioned to a grocery department manager that the non-GMO project sign got accidentally stuck on another sign for turkey at a store. Not only did we accidentally show a store employee what non-GMO means (food the bird eats is non-GMO or Organic which will be on the label if they bother with that expense and hassle) but he asked a manager and she asked to call the turkey ranch to find out if they could get non-GMO turkey. That would make 2 meats in the case we could have on a sandwich. This is a side effect of eating non-GMO and shopping at a place that listens to customer requests like ours. So we figure that everyone that doesn’t eat GMOs at all probably has to do this education. You’re going to influence 100 people each in a few months and as a result your neighborhood will have stores that get more non-GMO products in that sometimes say non-GMO on the package. Non-GMO is something that when explained to natural food-carrying store customers becomes obviously a preferred product. Demand goes up, prices go down.  All you do is shop at places that care, and communicate what you want. And then the other stores, seeing the sales in this growing consumer niche just go along and get non-GMO products in. It will become recognized. And when it does, people are going to find out things are complicated because there’s too big of a sphere of influence held by the industry. They’ll find out the FDA has a stance against labeling and is rolling out cloned GMO and GMO animals without labeling if it can. A friend recently told us it only takes five percent to make a serious demand for products. If five percent of the people want non-GMO products, this ballooning monster sphere of influence will collapse under its own weight because it has been built with public ignorance as its foundation and can’t survive with aware consumers and voters.

And all of you that are serious about trying to avoid them and get bad news every day know, there is a civil case for someone like me or Ernie or perhaps you that finds new hidden GMOs and obstruction to the free market in natural food at every turn. I'm finding out that farms only get loans for GMOs, only will be given money for GMO crops despite the demand for non-GMO, only can find GMO seeds or blatantly mixed and falsely marketed non-GMO seeds or nothing, and have been forced to depend on something I thought of as subsidies but is more complicated- but the result is, volume and not quality-driven, government and not market-driven, which means GMO crops or no profit. They are only getting their guaranteed payment per acre and getting further away from making a profit with the market driven down and the crop quality sinking fast because of pathogens. They'd all throw this system out in turn for real farming and market-driven econonomics at this point, now that they don't believe the boloney any more. You can only make promises that don't pan out for so many years before your word has no value. If it weren't for the banks, and the co-ops that pander to the chemical/seed package companies, and the government market interference, and things like railroads to transport grain being owned by these same companies, they'd all grow good food in a heartbeat. The insects are exploding in number that eat the crops but the pollinators are gone,  the soil is full of pathogens and stripped of nutrients and water and full of poison with no functional ecosystems that plants need be a part of to thrive, and there's not a darned thing that can be done by chemical companies to fix it with their tools they have - more of the same and worse stuff. So the very fact that it is still in all the food and its harder to get real food every day only exists because my regulatory agencies are allowing and encouraging it and my government is funding it to have an advantage. My clean food rights are being violated and there are places for me to appeal in my country's government... the judicial branch. But

GMOs are now spreading faster than the government is making them spread intentionally (which is a lot). We have them and the industry they are supposed to regulate to thank for it happening but now Nature is taking over the campaign like firewood takes over the job of the match. We'll be seeing life forms being replaced, "Invasion of the Bodysnatchers-style." And for that discussion, I’ll be doing another post entirely because I found some breaking news to share with you. It’s really not good. You can peek before I talk about this piece of the puzzle next post. Why this is bad (beyond just this incredible news of consequences that were foreseeable because it was a question that should have been asked by scientific inquiry instead of unasked or "handled" by Paid Justifiers) will be something I post in the next day or two. But the first thing to report is that Bt toxin protein is everywhere in streams in the Midwest. What good does it do to talk about the calamity? I mean will it make some people upset and tune out? Probably not our readers- maybe some. But the reason I tell about what I learn from the Midwest friends or and science I'm being shown that is bad news but completely foreseeable is because forewarned is forearmed, we aren't the type to close our eyes or we'd be eating whatever they gave us, and because I have a plan! I have to wait a day to post it but I made some connections with scientists I'm hoping will pan out. At the very least I'll be connecting more people with each other that should be connected. We're stronger together. I'm just trying to keep our readers who offer moral support to us every day informed of what we work on.

Now we can bring in some fresh blood to our non-GMO numbers by talking to like-minded people that find us at farmers markets and in front of Food Front in October but we need $20 minimum and maybe as much as $60 for flyers to hand out (the flyers on the front page.) We don't know how we're going to get enough of these things right now. But more people means more connections and opportunities, and more people raising their voices as shopping soldiers. We witness that every day when we meet and are given ideas and suggestions by you. So if you make a donation on the Support page for $10, you'll buy us 50 packets to give away. Just choose "materials only (at-cost)" when selecting what you are purchasing or send us a heads-up that your donation is for these packets. Its the most obviously direct and a very fruitful way to get more power to this project.
Don't give us money you don't have- but if you like this site and what we do, please keep it going. We don't want to let up now when so much is going on and so many opportunities for change are coming. Every packet is the start to someone discovering how they can and why they should eat non-GMO. Look at our FunBlog for tabling pics and on Facebook (link to FB from home page). Join with us in this way and do this work through our hands.Check our calendar to find us tabling and have free candy on us. Non-GMO non HFCS organic Jelly beans! See, just like the title.
It's not over yet. It's still in the "approval process" but it was not approved TODAY. However, lets have a happy moment. The FDA said after the 8 hour hearing in Washington DC that there is not enough evidence that GE Salmon is safe! See these articles on ABC News that begins with the word "Surprise:" Surprise indeed. Also, there's a report from the one-sided & up-to-the-minute site Natural News. They beat the CFS and FDA to the press release. Were they there? Maybe- people swarmed DC to fight this fight. Thank you all- including we who gave our comments to the Center for Food Safety, and thank you to them who, when seeing the FDA was not going to give a reasonable chance for us to comment or even know the fish was in the final approval stage or see the studies, took comments from us so they could get them presented. We also saw amazing advocacy from the Food and Water Watch and other wonderful groups. Oh and I have to say I've really gotten into the Organic Consumers Association pages again. They have a really neat style and they're so thorough and call this stuff out when its just plain wrong.  Go to those pages in the coming days because they're going to tell you its not over, we have to be vigilant and give us guidance on what we can do next. It's easier to be motivated when it actually makes a difference what we tell the FDA, isn't it!? Think of all those people that invested all that money making GE animals- the FDA says there are a lot. If Washington works like a fight you stay in until you run out of money- we're going to have to keep at this for a long time. This is no time to relax. They took a small hit today and now is exactly the time when we have to fight the most if we want to keep these genetically violated life forms from growing in number. They take over, they would not be labeled in food, they do harm, and they suffer. We need them to not be created. Genetic violation of life must be stopped. Keep up the good work. The mailing lists of the groups we name all over this site and following them on Twitter (you can find some of them by checking out who we follow) are the easiest ways to get the news and the opportunities they send us to make a difference.

Of course we can always write our congresspeople online and call them. I know our Oregon senators offices really respond to inquiries. I wrote about emailing Jeff Merkley in another post....How I only agree with maybe half of what he replies- but that's not the point. The amazing thing is that every sentence you say he has text prepared that his staff can send so you know he is actually thinking and that he is devoting his resources to being in tune and responsive to his constituents. He's a public inquiry response machine! lol. Senator Wyden is good too. I always get a reply and its thoughtful. But Senator Merkley's replies are so specific and detailed it feels spooky. I don't think I've ever written him on GMOs! You guys have to try this. We'll let him know we have to keep the pressure on to have real investigative research. It shouldn't be an FDA approval process! It should be an FDA evaluation process! I wish I'd made that up but I read it somewhere.
" If I catch one person from GMO industry in here I will throw you out so fast you’ll have to have someone pick up your spare!"

This is a portal that is the big angry area of my mind. But it is still for people that don't like GMO's already. Its there to help give people a way to connect with organizations besides ours and to blog vent. We're going to make an ad and stick it in someone else's blog or editorial that isn't PC and isn't peaceful like GMO-Free Portland. My friend was asking me why I was using the word fight. Well, we're being oppressed. Our food is being poisoned. And although we have lots of advocates out there, they need money and the market they aren't hitting are the people who need them the most- the people that are learning this in horror right now only to find out its late in the game and all of life is getting contaminated and the FDA and USDA have been taken over by a GMO industry coup. I want to use this site to focus on what we can do in not eating GMO's but we need to also make sure these other groups stay afloat. So connect with everyone and blog comment vent on (no www) http://letsfightgmos.wordpress.com. Thank you.